I woke up on our 6 month anniversary & I knew.
I knew I was pregnant. I knew she was a girl.
It was all a very surreal moment. I’m not sure how it all happened but there it was… this overwhelming feeling of being a girl mom.
We discussed trying to have a baby just a couple of weekends before, right before my ovulation week. We tried for 3 days. Then found out my cousin tragically passed too soon & that sent me into a sadness that made everything else stop. But this morning I woke up & I was told I would be pregnant with a girl. It was too early to tell anything. I would be only a few weeks pregnant at this point. I usually ignore these types of things. I also didn’t believe it but it felt so real that I kept it in the back of my mind. While I wouldn’t dare speak it aloud to anyone, I definitely said it in plain sight on my social media without context. (Sometimes you just have to let it out lol)
I’d end up finding out the next weekend (on my husband’s birthday) that I was in fact pregnant. That blew my mind & I didn’t believe it all. I took a million tests & would go buy more the next day & the next day. They all confirmed the same thing.
I’d only seen stories of women at my age struggling to get pregnant or trying for a while before anything happened so I was shocked, to say the least. In my mind, there were so many factors against me. Regardless of how well I knew my cycle (I knew it extremely well which I can now credit for me never having pregnancy scares before), I truly never fathomed we would try & would become pregnant the first time.
Meanwhile I always thought of myself as a boy mom. I’ve made that clear over the years too. I wanted a boy first. I think people expected me to be disappointed once we found out she was a girl, but I knew. I was so invested with deciding a girl name because I knew she was coming. I was excited when I found out she was a girl because I love being right LOL
Nevertheless, everything about this pregnancy scared me & I couldn’t bring myself to be completely sure. I still won’t be satisfied & able to breathe a sigh of relief until I have her in my arms & hear her life.
But today…
Today I am officially 9 months pregnant.
We made it this far & I am grateful. I am excited. I am tired AF but I am blessed. I cannot wait to meet this little girl.
My Elle.
A living illustration that life is miraculous.
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