2 years ago today:
"The first time I walked into Royce Hall as a student I was an 18-yr old freshman. I placed out of all lower English so, despite being a neuroscience major, they put me in a 3rd year English major lit class. I will never forget getting back my first paper with a C+ grade and the humbling that came with it. I was so upset & I put in a lot of work meeting with the prof, TA and going to tutoring in order to be sure I ended up with As on the rest of my assignments. Then life happened and, as was the theme of 2005, I had a mental breakdown the week before final exams. I locked myself away and cut everyone off. I didn’t take any of my finals and I moved out of my dorm. I dropped out of school. No one ever really knew what happened those couple of weeks but my mom, sister and brother. I can’t even really explain it or recall much, but I know I just disappeared to a lot of people. And that's exactly what I wanted to do: disappear, not exist. However, last night I walked into Royce Hall again to take a midterm apart of my post-bacc. After I finished, I took a few minutes outside to take in what I felt was a full circle moment. To go from where I was in December 2005 to where I am now—financially, spiritually, education-wise, but most of all mentally—is something I never imagined possible all those years ago. Got an A on that midterm last night (-1, which pisses me off lol). I am proud of myself… While, a good grade is great, I’m more proud that I am no longer stuck in that head space. I no longer relinquish my control. I am no longer afraid of my active mind; I embrace it."
Two years ago I walked into Royce Hall as a student ready to work toward a dream that I long ago released when life told me I wasn't good enough, and I believed it.
This year I walked into Royce Hall for the last time. And I was a graduate.