I made a resolution last year to be a better friend. Unfortunately, yet expectedly, that meant losing a couple in the process. Losing a friend, whether through a fall out or simply growing apart, is tough. However, it is a part of life. (It is definitely a part of adult life.)
I used to get so hurt.
And hurt people want to hurt people.
With that came too much talking. That's one thing I regret from any of my fall outs throughout the years--talking. Discussing the fall out or judging the person in front of other people is just wrong. It is that simple: wrong. I have been wrong many times before... I wished for people to hurt. I thought and said negative things about people I once considered close to me. I didn't want them to be great or win.
Thank God I've changed.
Learn to shut up. It is a blessing. Losing a friend does not have to mean losing the time you spent with them. It does not mean that that time was in vain. All of those memories can still exist. You can still be happy for someone when they win. You can still want good things for a person... All while losing them. All while loving them (or not loving them) from a distance. There's nothing that says you have to hate them or be mad at them.
Respect them for who they were when you did love them. Learn to accept people for who they are. If who they are now is a shitty friend, then so be it. Let them go. However, you haven't let them go if hatred, envy and disgust are blinding you.
Truly letting go is an art.
And, dammit, it's a hard one to learn.
